Did you know that a couple's instant messages reveal a lot about the state of their relationship? The words you use can predict how happy you are as a couple. Here's a checklist of what to look out for:
1. "I"
Scroll through your IMs or text messages and see how many times you use the word "I". Wayne State University researchers found that the more frequently women used "I" in their messages, the happier the couple. Why? These women were opening up to their partner (which promotes intimacy) while maintaining a sense of independence (which is vital for a healthy relationship), explains researcher Richard Slatcher, Ph.D.
2. Emotion words
Words that convey feelings are linked to relationship quality, too. But there are gender differences: The more positive emotion words (e.g. "happy", "nice", "love") a man uses in his messages, the more stable and happier the relationship, adds Slatcher. For women, however, watch out for positive negations ("not happy", "not nice"), as these indicate relationship dissatisfaction.
3. Secret codes
Do you share secret, cutesy code-words in your IMs or convos? You're sealing your bond with your partner! Couples who use "insider language" (coin goofy nicknames, make up silly terms and share inside jokes) are more satisfied with their relationship than those who aren't as playful, according to research published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.
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