Dear Problems Part 2 - True Confession

Dear Cutting,


I feel I need you right now, but the voice i hear convince me otherwise. I've searched the room already for something sharp, but no such luck.


I haven't needed you since March, but now the craving is knawing at the back of my mind in such a way that makes me want to scream.

I want to take you and carve words into my skin. I want to see blood, I want to stain something, although my soul has already been stained. I want to etch the words, "this is not me" into my flesh, and I want to hurt and cry and...

But, I can't do it to myself, for my mom, I don't want her to cry again, I don't want her to know that I hurt. I would rather another cut the words into my skin so that she does not know of my pain.

Cutting, writing to you has helped. I no longer feel I need you, or feel the arms of Depression around my thoughts. I no longer have the urge to bargain with Death.

Not this time.

~Angie